d100 Trash and Junk Table

Sometimes Many Goblins find a weird piece of garbage. Sometimes a slaad turns your sword into a random object. Sometimes a murderhobo is grubbing around, clearly unable to move on from this area until they find SOMETHING, but there's definitely no treasure, so you throw them a bone (entry 39) or an oversized moldy boot (entry 20)

I wrote these over quite a long period, so let me know if there are total duplicates and other things that I missed. Also, thank you to my D&D players for helping me crank out the last 10 or so! Very excellent garbage, team <3


d100 Trash & Cool Junk Table

1. A monster that wants to eat you! 1- carrion crawler, 2- fungus (yellow mold, purple fungus, etc), 3- Otyugh, 4- Rot Grubs
2. A paper wasp nest. Maybe a 50% chance it's full of wasps?
3. An ornate table leg that can be used as a club
4. Lead coin somewhat unconvincingly painted gold
5. bag of 100 small balls, like golf balls. May actually be golf balls.
6. Jar filled with live snails
7. Urn filled with ashes
8. tangled bundle of string. Very dirty, but quite sturdy
9. A ten-foot pole that's been duct taped back together
10. A large shell with a crack in it, in it you can hear static instead of the ocean
11. set of bone dice, poorly shaved in attempt to cheat
12. Bag of bent and rusty caltrops
13. A fishing net, holes in it badly repaired
14. Many socks. Do any match? Sort them to find out!
15. Rusty straight razor
16. Axe handle
17. Cool rock (1-purple band, 2- yellow speckles, 3-weird face shape, 3-almost perfectly round)
18. Shovel, blade split nearly in half
19. jar filled with green stuff. Food? Just algae & mold now.
20. single oversized moldy boor
21. Box of mostly unspoiled potatoes
22. Bag of crumpled pieces of colourful paper
23. A basket with a broken handle
24. Very stale scones, can be thrown as projectiles dealing 1d4 damage
25. Spoiled healing potion. Will heal you, but will also make you sick for 1d6 hours
26. Book missing many pages. 1- manual for operating mining equipment; 2- Harlequin romance; 3- hysterical religious text; 4- cookbook for cooking monsters & other dungeon creatures
27. Almost entirely used-up batteries, made of copper, light (nondamaging) acid, copper.
28. broken radio-type machine, only plays (loud) static
29. Several rope scraps tied together to make a 50-ft length. 25% base chance it breaks when used.
30. Many expired credit cards
31. Very scratched CD(s), records, or other recording media
32. Pens with broken nibs, leaky inkwells
33. Quite a few burlap sacks
34. fragment of a spell scroll. Not salvageable, but reading it gives you a minor headache and dizzy spell
35. Can of paint with 1/2 inch of goey paint at the bottom
36. Cracked amphora, no lid
37. Large candle stub 
38. long string, tangled and fragile but suitable as wick/fuse
39. A well-chewed femur, heavy enough to be a club
40. Bottle of wine turned to slightly sludgy vinegar
41. A thumbnail-sized ballbearing
42. A lot of somewhat moldy straw
43. Ripped pillow cases 1-polka dots, 2- zebra/leopard prints, 3- black, 4- cut animal prints (owlbears, froghemoths, etc)
44. Half a roll of tape-bandage. Not clean enough to use as bandage safely, without disinfectant etc
45. jack-o-latern, dried into a somewhat-sturdy container
46.  Stuffed toy, 1 - owlbear, 2- froghemoth, 3- behir, 4- displacer beast
47. chess set missing 1d10 pieces. Chess pieces are 1- dragons, 2-modrons/slaad, 3- geometrical shapes with arcane significance, 4- birds vs the church (very heretical)
48. Deck of cards, only 5d12 cards (if more than a normal deck, then its' several incomplete decks mashed together)
49. Book,  paper written on so many times as to be completely black
50. White Ink
51. Tin soldier (livery of nearest sympathetic empire, geographic or historic), bent, one arm missing
52. Sword bent entirely around like a pretzel
53. Tattered black cowl, blood will wash out
    
54. pretty gross smelling soap, too much lye in it so it stings
55. Perfectly fine boots, but they're a really obnoxious lime green
56. Manacles, locked, no key
57. A black box from an airplane. Doesn't matter whether your campaign has airplanes.
58. Single glove with six fingers
59. Fake skull. Kinda convincing, but not THAT convincing.
60. extremely scratched magnifying glass
61. Psychic paper, but it shows a random thing instead of 'what you expect to see' (1- picture of your/theirs/someone else's kids, 2- the number 'they were thinking of', 3- a queen of hearts, 4- a diary entry of one of the characters, 5- animal facts, 6- porno) 
62. Key (to a random locked door nearby, ideally)
63. Feather duster missing half it's feathers
64. Broom with all the bristles broken off way too short. 
65. Abacus with only 2d6 remaining beads, some broken runners
66. Burnt-out lightbulbs (1d6)
67. Painting in a frame. It's not very good (but that doesn't matter), and it's ripped and stained.
68. Beartrap, rusted shut
69. Bucket with a hole in  it
70. 2d6 cracked and chipped plates and/or saucers
71. Bent fork
72. A perfectly good sewing needle
73. Helmet, three-quarters melted
74. Shard of broken mirror
75. Small box with different fishing weights
76. Fused-up tanglefoot bag
77. Collection of 2d8 worn, faded, and cut up periodicals (Nat Geo, but with dragons... Unnatural Geomantic?)
78. A cheap trophy for an unpopular sport (1-lacrosse, 2- curling, 3- quidditch) 
79. A towel!
80. A chair with one leg that's quite a bit too short
81. 1/10th of a roll of tape
82. Bent & ruined lockpicks
83. preserved peaches so old they've turned into a kind of weird slurry- still edible tho!
84. Terracotta flower pots, 1d6 (stacked), 50% cracked
85. Quarter 'ration' of oil
86. Battered storm lantern that won't stand up straight
87.  bag of broken glass, safely wrapped
88.  Old atlas, out of date but not SO out of date to be particularly  historical
89. A full can of whipped cream. All the nitrous is gone. Nearby are a gang of whippet-high goblins
90. mold-saturated blanket
91. A jar of mismatched buttons
92. A single sandle, slighty magic, falls apart and bits float away if handled roughly
93. Large rotten molar covered in tooth-fairy dust
94. A tattered portrait of a decorated admiral with the face of a frowning cat. Did he ever really exist?
95. Leather bound journal filled with scratchings of a madman, final entry is only discernible sentence: "It's all true"
96. torn-off cover of a wizard's grimoire
97. 3d10 mismatched letters for typesetting
98. 1d4 strings of cheap beads (mardi gras style)
99. Shred of map. May show one useful landmark, not much more
100. actual kind of treasure! Use your favourite 'minor items' table or roll here.

Look at all that useless crap! And, maybe this list will be less useful to you if you run a more 'medieval' and less anachronistic fantasy game, in which case tweak the items to be more grounded, or use the short list below

1. turnip peels
2. old boot
3. string
4. nothing

And last but not least, a 5e version of the randomize object spell- although with that spell, less of the objects should be broken, so tweak the descriptions. And/OR add the seventy or so objects from the Goblin Punch 'Slaad' entry (including in the comments), and we're almost up to a d200 table! 

Randomize Object
2nd-level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V S M (bit of clay)
Duration: Up to 1 hour
Classes: Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
This spell transforms an object no larger than a breadbox that you can see within range into a random new form. An attended object held by unwilling creature may get a Saving throw (wielder's Charisma save) to resist. The transformation should be as random as possible, and the caster has no control over the result of the transformation. At the end of the duration the object may get a second save, otherwise, permanent.