1d100 Oblique place names

Back in November, the redoubtable noisms of Monsters and Manuals posted about "oblique" place names. I thought the examples listed were delightful--it was a good little read! Every campaign world should have a "Howly Winter"

He also claimed that "a human author or game designer doesn't have a hope in hell of emulating this - there is not a DM in the world who would think to call a village 'Howly Winter'" 

Now, I'm not sure what he meant by this exactly, and this isn't a call out post! But I thought, surely that's pretty demonstrably false. I mean of course, given the examples to build a vibe off of, we can come up with "Howly Winter" type names. 

And in fact, as soon as I read the list, my mind began adding onto it--and everyone I've mentioned it to has contributed at least one or two ideas off the top of their heads, spontaneously! Maybe this is a me thing, and I exude a kind of aura of weird place names inspiration, or surround myself exclusively with that exact type of person. In which case fair, this isn't exactly supposed to be a rigorous proof, just one hundred plus anecdotes. 

Perhaps the list will keep growing. At what point does anecdote become data? Or does it become history first?

Some caveats: I've checked exactly none of these to make sure they're not already existing real or fictional places. I'm sure some of them are, and just popped out of my brain soup as "new ideas" because they were already familiar. I'm also not a true student of linguistics, so this is based on vibes only, what "feels" like weird mish-mash british isles-ish place name. No Tolkien level scholarly efforts here!

With that said, here's the list, presented as a table for that extra gameable flair!

1d100 weird place names (+4 cuz I couldn't stop)

1. - Frowshire

2. - Prax-upon-Slough

3. - Drayfor

4. - Crowspocket

5. - Grosmarket

6. - Tendedd

7. - Falxire 

8. - Beaughon

9. - Ossfide 

10. - Tentickit

11. - Walfside 

12. - Hundseight

13. - Devhook

14. - Egg Knact

15. - Rocken Plow

16. - Sunmind

17. - Holarbor

18. - Falls Down

19. - Chalk-to-Clowd

20. - Benchmill

21. - Wocksitte

22. - Fuwlan

23. - Toothy Heath

24. - Dogs Biscuit

25. - Tea-and-Wander

26. - Lode Sill

27. - Nakkerwood

28. - Tore-Down

29. - Barnhouse

30. - Snailersannan

31. - Averewoter 

32. - Wereightshide

33. - Rox-in

34. - Doggsfurow 

35. - Mulch

36. - Graygrows

37. - Heightpoll

38. - Headpike

39. - Cloverchide

40. - Autumn As

41. - Flerchilde

42. - Killer

43. - Sowsfoot

44. - Foolship 

45. - Dyesoon 

46. - Hat-for-Lord

47. - Twos Beckon

48. - Cheesely

49. - Icecrik 

50. - Drumpsly

51. - Redwin Tick

52. - Nonnsberg

53. - Hindsight

54. - Wicket Through

55. - Stick-in-Wheel

56. - Weaping

57. - Bowt

58. - Foot Still

59. - Eastwest

60. - Dontnow 

61. - Hockstree 

62. - Harthsune

63. - Hardbawl

64. - Shout Shot 

65. - Fox Treacle

66. - Throaty 

67. - Raven Trough 

68. - Burgerdhop 

69. - Quiet-til-Cock

70. - Spoils-the-Milk

71. - Roughbedding

72. - Ariving

73. - Gettwater

74. - Waketrice

75. - Flocks-a-Mor

76. - Barcrow

77. - Fiddlers Fault

78. - Past-Lasthill 

79. - Wonday Wood

80. - Notroltor

81. - Woods-beyond-Gown

82. - Mockston

83. - Sumthingberg

84. - Lambshade

85. - Ittshire 

86. - Shaggy Bog

87. - Wolfcre Heath

88. - Rown Hol 

89. - Fly-at-Awl

90. - Ting Ting

91. - Leechtide

92. - Gibbering

93. - Tallyhowe 

94. - Worm Bellows

95. - Thicket-Upon-Thicket

96. - Milken Dunk

97. - Nillyhoggy Top

98. - Fog Bottle

99. - Hole-in-Head

100. - Little WeWeh

101. - Wot Wot

102. - Ticklesberry

103. - Newton Dipper

104. - Bobbins Lee

Confession, I actually wrote nearly all of these in the day or two after I read the original post. They've just been sitting in a Google doc for several months because I couldn't be arsed to write the preamble and drop in the link to Noisms blog.

I guess my thesis here, if I have one, is that the real world may be extremely complex, varied, exceptional, oblique. Buy we've got a pretty oblique stew cooking up in each of our heads too. It's not a matter of mimicry (although that's how it could start), it's a matter of synthesis.

And that's a big reason roleplaying games are compelling to me: it seems easier to pluck exceptions out and add them to the game. Most campaigns are already comprised of snippets from different sources, modules, setting, pieces of a book or show recently encountered. All creative works are like this, but with games its more immediate, and often more direct.

That might be a worldbuilding tactic: build for exceptions, whether foreseen or unexpected. It's so common to see settings where it's all "and the elves live over here in elfland, and this empire did this and this thing and then fell" and so on. And of course, real history is often summarized in very broad terms too. But the player characters aren't encountering history, they're encountering a world, with all its contradictions, idiosyncrasies, puzzles. How DID this group of Greeks end up dying at the top of a mountain pass in India in the early 1800s?

The history books don't always tell what you need to know, the maps can be misleading, and place names can be bizarrely oblique. And that's a good thing--it's all gameable content!

Three Tablets of Law

Long ago, the Wind Dukes of Aaqa codified many elements of the universe, what today would be known as physics or natural law. Some if these were inscribed on the very atoms of existence, or used to calculate the patterns of the celestial spheres and define on plane of existence from the next. Other, lesser laws were encoded into portable items, so they might aid the Vaati in their journeys and undertakings. The greatest weapon of this kind was the Rod of Law, known today as the Rod of Seven Parts, but many other tools were likewise created.

Today, many have been lost, or their use and meaning has been so obscured as to render them useless. But a few continue to carry a shard of their purpose, like a gear that keeps spinning after the machine itself breaks. One such set is a trio of items, called "tablets" for lack of a better understanding of their design. Each on its own is powerful, but working together they can be used to exert considerable influence over the threads of causality.

Tablet of Hours

Wonderous Item, Rare, Requires attunement

This brass disc is inscribed with concentric runes and geometric patterns. Fused mechanisms and gears protrude from the sides, broken off and covered in verdigris and calcified stone growing out of the cracks in the edges and face of the tablet.

The tablet has 4 charges. These charges replenish at dawn every day. The Tablet of Hours can share spell slots with the Tablet of Fate and the Tablet of Reflection, and the three tablets can all use the same attunement slot. You may only use the abilities of the tablet if you are holding it, or if you are carrying the tablet and holding one of the other two tablets.

Untethered Timeline. At the start of your turn you may expend a charge from the tablet and roll a d20 (no action required). On an 11-20, you slow down time, acting as if under the effect of a Haste spell until the beginning of your next turn. On a 1-10, you slow yourself down, acting as if under the effect of a Slow spell until the beginning of your next turn unless you succeed on a DC 13 Charisma saving throw.

Spells. You can use an action to expend 2 or more of its charges to cast one of the following spells from it, using your spell save DC: immovable object (2 charges), or temporal shunt (5 charges). You may also cast Mending as an action without expending any charges.

Tablet of Fate

Wonderous Item, Rare, Requires attunement

A bulky bronze cylinder with glyphs inscribed in a looping pattern on the drum. The top and bottom of the cylinder and open, and filled with intricately carved wooden circuits and wires, tangled like a broken nest.

The tablet has 4 charges. These charges replenish at dawn every day. The Tablet of Fate can share spell slots with the Tablet of Hours and the Tablet of reflection, and the three tablets can all use the same attunement slot. You may only use the abilities of the tablet if you are holding it, or if you are carrying the tablet and holding one of the other two tablets.

Rewrite Probability. When you roll a d20, you may spend a charge from the tablet to magically alter probability. When you do so, reroll that d20 and take the new result.

Spells. You can use an action to expend 2 or more of its charges to cast one of the following spells from it, using your spell save DC: augury (2 charges), or Geas (5 charges). You may also cast Guidance as an action without expending any charges.

Tablet of Reflection

Wonderous Item, Rare, Requires attunement

The face of this oblong plaque was once polished black obsidian, but now is scuffed and discoloured by scratches and stains. Rimmed with tarnished and peeling copper hammered into coiling and leaf-like motifs. A shallow half-broken black knob protrudes from the back, where once a ring or handle or other attachment may have been set.

The tablet has 4 charges. These charges replenish at dawn every day. The Tablet of Reflection can share spell slots with the Tablet of Fate and the Tablet of Hours, and the three tablets can all use the same attunement slot. You may only use the abilities of the tablet if you are holding it, or if you are carrying the tablet and holding one of the other two tablets.

Mirrored Destiny. When you succeed at a saving throw against a spell or other magic that affects only you, you may spend a charge from the tablet as a reaction and can choose a new creature within 60 feet to be the target of that magic. 

Spells. You can use an action to expend 2 or more of its charges to cast one of the following spells from it, using your spell save DC: mirror image (2 charges), or Mislead (5 charges). You may also cast minor illusion as an action without expending any charges.

Poison damage Death and Dismemberment Table

It's been sitting in my drafts for a couple of years, but I've finally finished the Poison damage death and dismemberment table. This part of the same effort as the Psychic damage table from 2018. The original set of tables is excellent, but for a 5e-hack like I typically play, there are a few damage types. Notably still missing is thunder damage, force damage, and radiant damage. Perhaps the subject of future posts, ideally in less than 5 years! 

Google Doc link is HERE 

This is designed to work well with my basic "Poison is OP" rules. I want to have rules for specific poisons where needed, but still have a general damage table for situations where magic or special abilities deal unspecified flavours of poison damage.

Poison & Disease

Poison Death Dice work the same as Bleed dice, but are harder to remove or work around. Normal healing does not remove these dice, and “staying down” does not protect against their effects unless the character makes a saving throw (DC 10 + number of poisoned dice).

1	You feel fine!
2	You get a barf in your mouth a little. Super gross.
3	A surprise vomit. You can’t take reactions until your next turn. Poison 1.
4	Sharp pain in the affected area. Pain 1.
5	Vomiting or diarrhea make a real mess. Clothing destroyed, if wearing armour it needs serious cleaning.
6	Feeling pretty sick, not gonna lie. Poisoned Condition.
7	Little bit of internal bleeding never hurt anyone... Bleed 1. Pain 1
8	Your arm is stiff and your fingers won’t clench. Arm useless until you gain HP. Drop held objects. Poison 2. Pain 1.
9	Your immune system is fighting back. Poison 1, +1 on saves against this poison or disease in the future, lose Poisoned condition if you have it (not damage, dice etc, just the condition.)
10	Your leg goes numb, and you  feel yourself sag towards the ground. Prone. Poisoned. Leg useless. Bleed 2. Pain 1.
11	One side of your torso is completely numb. Poisoned Condition. Arm useless. Poison 2. Pain 2.
12	The nerve damage has eaten away your leg, and the flesh is poxed and scabrous. Recovery Time 1d6+6 weeks. Leg useless. Poison 2. Trauma 1. Pain 1.
13	Spots dance before your eyes, and the room goes black. You weep inky fluid. Blinded until you gain HP. Bleed 2.
14	Your head feels light and floaty, and your limbs are like lead. Save vs Doom or fall unconscious until you regain HP. Difficulty Speaking, Cannot cast spells with verbal components or that require concentration, Poison 1, Pain 1.
15	Your chest heaves as you struggle to breathe. Half movement until you gain HP. Poison 1. Pain 1.
16	Your rash turns into a network of bleeding sores and pustules. Cruel Scarring, -2 Charisma, Pain 1, Poison 2.
17	Blood vessels all over your body are bursting, causing bruising. Nerve damage. Permanent -1 to all your statistics. Poison 2. Pain 2.
18	Your lungs and throat are searing in pain, and you cough up blood. Lose turn Coughing & Vomiting, Poisoned Condition. Bleed 1. Trauma 2. Pain 2.
19	Your pulse quickens and your skin grows cold as you go into shock. Lose a turn. Poison 1d4. Pain 1. Trauma 1.
20	The filth in your veins has eaten away at your eyes, leaving you Blinded until you gain HP, Permanent -4 to ranged attacks. Poison 1, Pain 1.
21	The toxins have fully saturated your tissues. Roll 1d6. You gain 1 Poison, and an additional Poison dice every: 1-2 day, 3-4 hour, 5-6 minute. This effect is permanent unless negated with Cure Poison or better.
22	The toxins burn their way out of you, neutralising some of their effects but leaving you permanently damaged. Roll all Death Dice you have currently and permanently subtract the total from your maximum hit points. All death dice are then removed.
23	You clutch at your chest as your heart feels like it’s bursting out of your chest.  Heart damage. Permanent -2 Con. Poison 4. Pain 2. Trauma 2.
24	No external signs, but your internal organs are ruined and you permanently gain Vulnerability to Poison Damage.
25	The creeping death has reached your nervous system. Unconscious until you are above 0 hit points. Poison 6.
26	The vile stuff eating you from the inside has left you a husk. Maximum hit points permanently set to 1, gaining levels can add to your max hit points as normal.
27	Your eyes roll back and black tar leaks from your lips as you are chemically lobotomized. You die and immediately become a zombie, which acts on your same initiative count.
28	Instant death, but the poison leaves you a strangely beautiful and well-preserved corpse (as Gentle Repose)
29	Your blood has become a toxic slurry. You will die at the beginning of your next turn unless you are healed to at least 1 hit point or the poison/disease is negated before then.
30	You collapse in shock from the tremendous pain. You will die in 1d4 minutes, and are incapacitated until then. Healing cannot prevent this, but more powerful magic might work.
31	You are so poisoned as to become a permanent biohazard. Trauma 4 and any living creature that touches you or your corpse with bare skin gains 1 Poison.
32	Massive heart attack. The pain is overwhelming and you thrash about making horrible gurgling noises as you die over 1d6 rounds.
33	You are filled with a strange sense of peace and clarity. On your next turn you get one round of normal actions, and lose any status effects (poisoned, incapacitated, etc). At the end of that round, instant death.
34	Anathema. Natural creatures will not approach your body, and if you somehow survive or are resurrected, this effect continues unless broken by a Remove Curse.
35	You are neatly split in half, from head to groin; the halves slide uncomfortably down to the floor.
36+	Melted. Your body is so ruined that only True Resurrection or better can bring you back.