d100 Trash and Junk Table

Sometimes Many Goblins find a weird piece of garbage. Sometimes a slaad turns your sword into a random object. Sometimes a murderhobo is grubbing around, clearly unable to move on from this area until they find SOMETHING, but there's definitely no treasure, so you throw them a bone (entry 39) or an oversized moldy boot (entry 20)

I wrote these over quite a long period, so let me know if there are total duplicates and other things that I missed. Also, thank you to my D&D players for helping me crank out the last 10 or so! Very excellent garbage, team <3


d100 Trash & Cool Junk Table

1. A monster that wants to eat you! 1- carrion crawler, 2- fungus (yellow mold, purple fungus, etc), 3- Otyugh, 4- Rot Grubs
2. A paper wasp nest. Maybe a 50% chance it's full of wasps?
3. An ornate table leg that can be used as a club
4. Lead coin somewhat unconvincingly painted gold
5. bag of 100 small balls, like golf balls. May actually be golf balls.
6. Jar filled with live snails
7. Urn filled with ashes
8. tangled bundle of string. Very dirty, but quite sturdy
9. A ten-foot pole that's been duct taped back together
10. A large shell with a crack in it, in it you can hear static instead of the ocean
11. set of bone dice, poorly shaved in attempt to cheat
12. Bag of bent and rusty caltrops
13. A fishing net, holes in it badly repaired
14. Many socks. Do any match? Sort them to find out!
15. Rusty straight razor
16. Axe handle
17. Cool rock (1-purple band, 2- yellow speckles, 3-weird face shape, 3-almost perfectly round)
18. Shovel, blade split nearly in half
19. jar filled with green stuff. Food? Just algae & mold now.
20. single oversized moldy boor
21. Box of mostly unspoiled potatoes
22. Bag of crumpled pieces of colourful paper
23. A basket with a broken handle
24. Very stale scones, can be thrown as projectiles dealing 1d4 damage
25. Spoiled healing potion. Will heal you, but will also make you sick for 1d6 hours
26. Book missing many pages. 1- manual for operating mining equipment; 2- Harlequin romance; 3- hysterical religious text; 4- cookbook for cooking monsters & other dungeon creatures
27. Almost entirely used-up batteries, made of copper, light (nondamaging) acid, copper.
28. broken radio-type machine, only plays (loud) static
29. Several rope scraps tied together to make a 50-ft length. 25% base chance it breaks when used.
30. Many expired credit cards
31. Very scratched CD(s), records, or other recording media
32. Pens with broken nibs, leaky inkwells
33. Quite a few burlap sacks
34. fragment of a spell scroll. Not salvageable, but reading it gives you a minor headache and dizzy spell
35. Can of paint with 1/2 inch of goey paint at the bottom
36. Cracked amphora, no lid
37. Large candle stub 
38. long string, tangled and fragile but suitable as wick/fuse
39. A well-chewed femur, heavy enough to be a club
40. Bottle of wine turned to slightly sludgy vinegar
41. A thumbnail-sized ballbearing
42. A lot of somewhat moldy straw
43. Ripped pillow cases 1-polka dots, 2- zebra/leopard prints, 3- black, 4- cut animal prints (owlbears, froghemoths, etc)
44. Half a roll of tape-bandage. Not clean enough to use as bandage safely, without disinfectant etc
45. jack-o-latern, dried into a somewhat-sturdy container
46.  Stuffed toy, 1 - owlbear, 2- froghemoth, 3- behir, 4- displacer beast
47. chess set missing 1d10 pieces. Chess pieces are 1- dragons, 2-modrons/slaad, 3- geometrical shapes with arcane significance, 4- birds vs the church (very heretical)
48. Deck of cards, only 5d12 cards (if more than a normal deck, then its' several incomplete decks mashed together)
49. Book,  paper written on so many times as to be completely black
50. White Ink
51. Tin soldier (livery of nearest sympathetic empire, geographic or historic), bent, one arm missing
52. Sword bent entirely around like a pretzel
53. Tattered black cowl, blood will wash out
    
54. pretty gross smelling soap, too much lye in it so it stings
55. Perfectly fine boots, but they're a really obnoxious lime green
56. Manacles, locked, no key
57. A black box from an airplane. Doesn't matter whether your campaign has airplanes.
58. Single glove with six fingers
59. Fake skull. Kinda convincing, but not THAT convincing.
60. extremely scratched magnifying glass
61. Psychic paper, but it shows a random thing instead of 'what you expect to see' (1- picture of your/theirs/someone else's kids, 2- the number 'they were thinking of', 3- a queen of hearts, 4- a diary entry of one of the characters, 5- animal facts, 6- porno) 
62. Key (to a random locked door nearby, ideally)
63. Feather duster missing half it's feathers
64. Broom with all the bristles broken off way too short. 
65. Abacus with only 2d6 remaining beads, some broken runners
66. Burnt-out lightbulbs (1d6)
67. Painting in a frame. It's not very good (but that doesn't matter), and it's ripped and stained.
68. Beartrap, rusted shut
69. Bucket with a hole in  it
70. 2d6 cracked and chipped plates and/or saucers
71. Bent fork
72. A perfectly good sewing needle
73. Helmet, three-quarters melted
74. Shard of broken mirror
75. Small box with different fishing weights
76. Fused-up tanglefoot bag
77. Collection of 2d8 worn, faded, and cut up periodicals (Nat Geo, but with dragons... Unnatural Geomantic?)
78. A cheap trophy for an unpopular sport (1-lacrosse, 2- curling, 3- quidditch) 
79. A towel!
80. A chair with one leg that's quite a bit too short
81. 1/10th of a roll of tape
82. Bent & ruined lockpicks
83. preserved peaches so old they've turned into a kind of weird slurry- still edible tho!
84. Terracotta flower pots, 1d6 (stacked), 50% cracked
85. Quarter 'ration' of oil
86. Battered storm lantern that won't stand up straight
87.  bag of broken glass, safely wrapped
88.  Old atlas, out of date but not SO out of date to be particularly  historical
89. A full can of whipped cream. All the nitrous is gone. Nearby are a gang of whippet-high goblins
90. mold-saturated blanket
91. A jar of mismatched buttons
92. A single sandle, slighty magic, falls apart and bits float away if handled roughly
93. Large rotten molar covered in tooth-fairy dust
94. A tattered portrait of a decorated admiral with the face of a frowning cat. Did he ever really exist?
95. Leather bound journal filled with scratchings of a madman, final entry is only discernible sentence: "It's all true"
96. torn-off cover of a wizard's grimoire
97. 3d10 mismatched letters for typesetting
98. 1d4 strings of cheap beads (mardi gras style)
99. Shred of map. May show one useful landmark, not much more
100. actual kind of treasure! Use your favourite 'minor items' table or roll here.

Look at all that useless crap! And, maybe this list will be less useful to you if you run a more 'medieval' and less anachronistic fantasy game, in which case tweak the items to be more grounded, or use the short list below

1. turnip peels
2. old boot
3. string
4. nothing

And last but not least, a 5e version of the randomize object spell- although with that spell, less of the objects should be broken, so tweak the descriptions. And/OR add the seventy or so objects from the Goblin Punch 'Slaad' entry (including in the comments), and we're almost up to a d200 table! 

Randomize Object
2nd-level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V S M (bit of clay)
Duration: Up to 1 hour
Classes: Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
This spell transforms an object no larger than a breadbox that you can see within range into a random new form. An attended object held by unwilling creature may get a Saving throw (wielder's Charisma save) to resist. The transformation should be as random as possible, and the caster has no control over the result of the transformation. At the end of the duration the object may get a second save, otherwise, permanent.

Catalogue of Demons

I find the traditional and 5e versions of 'monster types' to be a little cumbersome. It's un-intuitive. What actually links a slaad, mind flayer, and a beholder as 'abberations?' They're not from the same place. They're all otherworldly, but if a ranger, say, devoted themselves to the study of otherworldly creatures, wouldn't that also include demons?

Add to that 5e's reduced emphasis on creature types defining stat blocks (remember in 3.x type would determine everything from saving throws to hit dice), and this feels like an exercise in futility. And even worse, under-utilized design space!

So for a long time I've been using my own world-specific creature types. They're based on where the creatures are from, including geographically, historically, and dimensionally. They're supposed to be more akin to natural groupings. This has the benefit of allowing me to come up with unique looks and behaviors consistent to each group, which means when it comes up during games, players are more likely to be able to intuit what kind of creature they're dealing with, even if they've never seen this specimen before.

I've included examples of creatures after each entry. These are suggestions of statblocks to use to represent those creatures, not always a 1:1 ratio (for example, a tweaked lycanthrope might work for either a Raksha or a Xibalban).

Here are the first few: The Catalogue of Demons.

Utukku

From BEFORE. Chaos demons, holdovers from an early universe. Of the same age or older than the gods- in terms of species, not necessarily individuals. Because the world as we know it hadn't been built yet, their forms tend to be extremely alien- not just tentacles and insect parts, but WEIRD tentacles and insect parts. Their design almost never references the human form, unless they're some sort of possessing demon, parasite, or shapeshifter (like a mimic, probably the first Uktukku most adventurers encounter.) Their abilities should be powerful, but idiosyncratic, like they're optimized for a different environment than this one.

Utukku are weak to salt, silver, and certain runes of making and binding.

Example Uktukku: Mezzoloths, Beholders, Aboleths, Slaadi, Oblexes, Carrion Crawlers, Chuul, Cloakers, Darkmantle, Ettercap, Gibbering Mouthers, Hook Horror, Otyugh, Piercer, Purple Worm, Roper, Rust Monster, Stirge, Astral Dreadnought, Balhannoth, Alkalith, Dybbuk, Sibriex, Wastrilith, Dhergoloth, Deep Scion, Maw Demon, Morkoth, Flumph, Sea Spawn, Trapper,

Slaad are a great exasmple, because even thought they're more 'normal' looking, they're perfect chaos avatars. Total chaos isn't always random- slaad are the multiverse insisting on answering every question with 'giant toad!'

Giant Toaaaad

Also:

Doesn't get much more Utukku than that.

Raksha

From OUTSIDE. Raksha are energy/conceptual beings from 'beyond' the multiverse, taken on physical form through the act of entering reality. They commonly access reality through people's dreams, or appear in areas of nature and pure natural energy, but they can arise anywhere. Many creatures that would be categorized as 'elementals' are Raksha who have not taken on a fully material form. Others incarnate themselves more fully, and appear as fey or demonic creatures, often in impossible shapes or strange animal-human or part-object hybrids. Almost all Raksha retain some ability to shapeshift.

Examples: Animated Objects, Bugbears, Drow, Displacer Beasts, Faerie Dragon, Yochlol, Goblins, Hobgoblins, Green Hags, Harpies, Lamia, Manticore, Peryton, Pixie, Rakshasa, Satyr, Sprite, Blink Dog, Eladrin, Meazel, Nagpa, Sorrowsworn, Banderhob, Boggle, Darklings, Shusoova, Draegloth, Annis Hag, Bheur Hag, Korred, Leucrotta, Meenlock, Nilbog, Quickling, Red Cap, Yeth Hound, 

Raksha are unable to lie. As conceptual beings, they are their thoughts, their self conception. They can no more lie than a regular person can turn themselves purple or grow donkey ears.

Grigori

Of the DIVINE. Servants set up by the gods to tend to creation. Dragons, giants, many elementals, even primordial dwarves. They are less mutable than the Raksha, and almost all have some human-like aspect. I had some trouble finding the 'visual line' to separate Grigori from Raksha, or Raksha from Xibalban for that matter, but in this case the behavior should give a boost. Grigori are a lot more solid than Raksha, being fully of this universe, perhaps more so than anything else.

Another key difference: Grigori are in some way spirits of the land, tied very closely with a sense of place. Raksha are never localized in this way, unless they have been bound by powerful magic, or unless the 'landscape' they're associated with it itself some otherworld pulled from the land of dreams.

Examples: Dryads, Dragons, Azer, Angels, Blights, Centaurs, Coatl, Cyclops, Dragons, Dragon Turtle, Empyrean, Ettin, Fomorian, Galeb Duhr, Genies, Giants, Gorgons, Griffins, Hydra, Elementals, Minotaur, Nagas, Owlbear, Pegasus, Quaggoths, Roc, Tritons, Sphinx, Kraken, Tarrasque, Treant, Unicorn, Invisible Stalker, Water Weird, Xorn, Duergar, Eidolon, Elder Elementals, Modrons, Marut, Catoblepas, Flail Snail, Ki-Rin, Wood Woad, 

Xibalban

of the DEAD. These are the spirits of the underworld, formed of ghosts of mortals, fallen angels and demons, and so on. At the bottom of the underworld is an infinite void, from which nothing returns, and the spirits of the dead are inexorably pulled towards it. The Xibalbans are residents of the city built on its brink, holding themselves off from oblivion through a baroque commerce in souls- they send the lesser ghosts into the void in their stead.

Xibalba has six 'houses,' essentially overlapping dreamlike layers of the plane. There isn't always a clear line between which demons are part of which house, and many don't have a specific house, but here are some general themes.

-Umbral. Shadar-Kai, shadows, shadow demons, nightwalkers, banshees, shadow dragons, driders, Will-o'-wisp, Wraith, Shadow Mastiff, 

-Zoztnian. Bat-demons. Vargouilles, Nabassus, Nycaloths, Berbalang, 

-Balmoran. Barghests, were-tigers, barl-guras, goristros, arcanoloths, nalfeshnee, jackelwere, Bulezau, Orthon, Howler, Gnolls, Tannaruk,

-Cryoyek. Ice demons. Gelugon, Remorhaz, Yeti, 

-Chayim. Razor & metal. Mariliths, spinagons, kytons, hamatula, barbazu, Chasme, glabrezu, Osyluth, Boneclaw, Armanite, Merregon, Retriever, Canoloth, Babau, 

-Ignalti. Fire demons. Immolith, balors, cornugons, hell hounds, magmin, nightmare, salamanders, Narzugon, Firenewts,

General Xibalbans: Could use stats for imps, vampires, mummy lords, ghouls, medusas, erinyes, death knight, demilich, Dretch, manes, hezrou, vrock, dracolich, flameskull, night hag, Nothic, death dog, deathlock, Maurezhi, Molydeus, Rutterkin, Abishai, Amnizu, nupperibo, Skull Lord, Stone Cursed, Sword Wraith, Hydroloth, Merrenoloth, Oinoloth, Yagnoloth, Bodak, Devourer,  . In addition, any Grigori, Raksha, or Nephilim can fall to death, and become Xibalban.

Xibalbans are immune or resistant to fire, and they aren't undead- although about half of the 'affects undead' spells and weapons in my game are in fact 'affects Xibalbans.'

Devils are beings, often Xibalban, who have been bound by the church. As part of the many layers of enchantment and oath (same thing) they are unable to lie or break contracts. This is not like the physical inability of the Raksha- the devil may be able to get around the magic on it, or lie in a specific way. Vampires, and their inability to enter a house without permission, are a good example of this.

Nephilim

Of the MORTAL. The universes' early mortal species, mostly extinct, and their descendents/creations.
The five nephilim species are:

-Ether Gaunts

-Mind Flayers

-Spell Weavers

-Grave Worms

-Wind Dukes

Humans are kind of also nephilim, being descendents of the nephilim's creatures, but they're treated as separate for purposes of ranger abilities, and most spells. For spells, basically assume everything that affects nephilim affects humans, but not everything targeted at humans will harm a nephilim.

Example Servitors & Descendents: Behir, Bullywugs, Grell, Grick, Grimlocks, Intellect Devourer, Kuo-Toa, Merfolk, Merrow, Myconid, Ogre, Oni, Orcs, Neogi, Umber Hulk, Ultroloth, Yuan-Ti, Choker, Gith, Skulk, Star-Spawn, Steel Predator, Chitine, Froghemoth, Girallon, Grung, Neothelid, Vegepygmie,

Up next: Mutants and Robots and Dinosaurs!

Maybe: a player-facing aid, like a handout, mentioning various lore about demons?

How much of this is gameable? I don't know! Maybe it will be possible to make gameable material out of it... Still, gotta dump all this lore somewhere!

Slaad!

Slaaaaaad!

Some Relevant Links.

I know I know, it's kind of blasphemy converting OSR things into 5e things, but it's what my players are into. Just think of it as the OSRification of 5e, if it makes you feel more comfortable.


Yellow Slaad

Medium Aberration, CN
AC 14 (natural armour)

HP 45 (6d8+18)

Speed 30 ft, swim 20 ft

STR16(+2) DEX 12(+1) CON16(+3)

INT 9(-1) WIS 6(-2) CHA7(-3)

Skills: Athletics +4, Perception +1

Resistances: Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, Thunder

Senses: Darkvision 60, PP 11

Languages: Slaadi, Telepathy 60 ft

CR 2 (450 xp)

SPECIAL

Zone of Chaos. 50 feet radius centered on the Slaad. Whenever a non-slaad within the zone declares an action, they must instead choose two unrelated actions, and flip a coin to determine which one they actually do.

Schism. Turns into 2 Orange Slaad when reduced to 0 hp.

Abiosis. Requires 30 people. Can turn into nothing larger than a cottage, nor worth more than 1,000 coin.

ACTIONS

Multiattack. The salad makes one large and one small claw attack.

Large Claw, Melee Weapon Attack, 1d12+3

Small Claw 1d6+3

c'mooooon

Emptycanvass Deviantart

Orange Slaad

Medium Aberration, CN
AC 13 (natural armour)

HP 27 (5d8+5)

Speed 30 ft, swim 20 ft

STR15(+2) DEX 14(+2) CON13(+1)

INT 6(-2) WIS 6(-2) CHA14(+2)

Skills: Perception +1

Resistances: Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, Thunder

Senses: Darkvision 60, PP 11

Languages: Slaadi, Telepathy 10 ft

CR 1 (200 xp)

SPECIAL

Innate Spellcasting The slaad is a 5th-level spellcaster. Its spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 12, +4 to hit with spell attacks). The slaad can innately cast the of the following spells, requiring no components:
At Will: randomize object

1/day; has one of these spells determined randomly: 1- enter chaos, 2- chaos bolt, 3- shatter.

Schism. Turns into 2 Pink Slaad when reduced to 0 hp. Pink slaad have stats

Abiosis. Requires 10 people. Can turn into nothing larger than a cart, nor worth more than 100 coin.

Standing Leap. The slaad's long jump is up to 20 feet and its high jump is up to 10 feet, with or without a running start.

ACTIONS
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Bite. +4, 1d8+2 damage

Pink Slaad

Small Aberration, CN
AC 11 

HP 13 (3d6+3)

Speed 20 ft, swim 20 ft

STR 8(-1) DEX 12(+1) CON10(+0)

INT 5(-3) WIS 6(-2) CHA8(-1)

Skills: Acrobatics +3

Resistances: Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, Thunder

Senses: Darkvision 60, PP 8

Languages: Understand Slaadi, but only speak gibberish at best

CR 1/8 (25 xp)

SPECIAL

Death Burst. When the slaad dies, it explodes in a burst of chaotic energy. Each Medium or smaller creature within 5 feet of it must succeed on a DC 11 Dexterity saving throw or be effected. The effects are determined randomly, unless one would be particularly hilarious. 1- red light, blinded. 2- white noise, deafened; 3- pink goop, restrained; 4- green slime, 1d8 acid damage/round; 5- black goop, poisoned. The effects last for 1 minute, or until the target makes a successful save at the end of one of their turns.

Schism. Turns into 2 lumpy black pearls, worth 10 coin each

Abiosis. Can turn into nothing larger than a sword, nor worth more than 10c

Nimble Movement. The slaad does not provoke attacks of opportunity from characters who are adjacent to one of the slaad's allies

ACTIONS

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Bite. +3, 1d6+1 damage
Spit: +3, range 15 ft, 1d4+1 damage.