Thursday 19 September 2019

d100 Trash and Junk Table

Sometimes Many Goblins find a weird piece of garbage. Sometimes a slaad turns your sword into a random object. Sometimes a murderhobo is grubbing around, clearly unable to move on from this area until they find SOMETHING, but there's definitely no treasure, so you throw them a bone (entry 39) or an oversized moldy boot (entry 20)

I wrote these over quite a long period, so let me know if there are total duplicates and other things that I missed. Also, thank you to my D&D players for helping me crank out the last 10 or so! Very excellent garbage, team <3

d100 Trash & Cool Junk Table
  1. A monster that wants to eat you! 1- carrion crawler, 2- fungus (yellow mold, purple fungus, etc), 3- Otyugh, 4- Rot Grubs
  2. A paper wasp nest. Maybe a 50% chance it's full of wasps?
  3. An ornate table leg that can be used as a club
  4. Lead coin somewhat unconvincingly painted gold
  5. bag of 100 small balls, like golf balls. May actually be golf balls.
  6. Jar filled with live snails
  7. Urn filled with ashes
  8. tangled bundle of string. Very dirty, but quite sturdy
  9. A ten-foot pole that's been duct taped back together
  10. A large shell with a crack in it, in it you can hear static instead of the ocean
  11. set of bone dice, poorly shaved in attempt to cheat
  12. Bag of bent and rusty caltrops
  13. A fishing net, holes in it badly repaired
  14. Many socks. Do any match? Sort them to find out!
  15. Rusty straight razor
  16. Axe handle
  17. Cool rock (1-purple band, 2- yellow speckles, 3-weird face shape, 3-almost perfectly round)
  18. Shovel, blade split nearly in half
  19. jar filled with green stuff. Food? Just algae & mold now.
  20. single oversized moldy boor
  21. Box of mostly unspoiled potatoes
  22. Bag of crumpled pieces of colourful paper
  23. A basket with a broken handle
  24. Very stale scones, can be thrown as projectiles dealing 1d4 damage
  25. Spoiled healing potion. Will heal you, but will also make you sick for 1d6 hours
  26. Book missing many pages. 1- manual for operating mining equipment; 2- Harlequin romance; 3- hysterical religious text; 4- cookbook for cooking monsters & other dungeon creatures
  27. Almost entirely used-up batteries, made of copper, light (nondamaging) acid, copper.
  28. broken radio-type machine, only plays (loud) static
  29. Several rope scraps tied together to make a 50-ft length. 25% base chance it breaks when used.
  30. Many expired credit cards
  31. Very scratched CD(s), records, or other recording media
  32. Pens with broken nibs, leaky inkwells
  33. Quite a few burlap sacks
  34. fragment of a spell scroll. Not salvageable, but reading it gives you a minor headache and dizzy spell
  35. Can of paint with 1/2 inch of goey paint at the bottom
  36. Cracked amphora, no lid
  37. Large candle stub 
  38. long string, tangled and fragile but suitable as wick/fuse
  39. A well-chewed femur, heavy enough to be a club
  40. Bottle of wine turned to slightly sludgy vinegar
  41. A thumbnail-sized ballbearing
  42. A lot of somewhat moldy straw
  43. Ripped pillow cases 1-polka dots, 2- zebra/leopard prints, 3- black, 4- cut animal prints (owlbears, froghemoths, etc)
  44. Half a roll of tape-bandage. Not clean enough to use as bandage safely, without disinfectant etc
  45. jack-o-latern, dried into a somewhat-sturdy container
  46.  Stuffed toy, 1 - owlbear, 2- froghemoth, 3- behir, 4- displacer beast
  47. chess set missing 1d10 pieces. Chess pieces are 1- dragons, 2-modrons/slaad, 3- geometrical shapes with arcane significance, 4- birds vs the church (very heretical)
  48. Deck of cards, only 5d12 cards (if more than a normal deck, then its' several incomplete decks mashed together)
  49. Book,  paper written on so many times as to be completely black
  50. White Ink
  51. Tin soldier (livery of nearest sympathetic empire, geographic or historic), bent, one arm missing
  52. Sword bent entirely around like a pretzel
  53. Tattered black cowl, blood will wash out
  54. pretty gross smelling soap, too much lye in it so it stings
  55. Perfectly fine boots, but they're a really obnoxious lime green
  56. Manacles, locked, no key
  57. A black box from an airplane. Doesn't matter whether your campaign has airplanes.
  58. Single glove with six fingers
  59. Fake skull. Kinda convincing, but not THAT convincing.
  60. extremely scratched magnifying glass
  61. Psychic paper, but it shows a random thing instead of 'what you expect to see' (1- picture of your/theirs/someone else's kids, 2- the number 'they were thinking of', 3- a queen of hearts, 4- a diary entry of one of the characters, 5- animal facts, 6- porno) 
  62. Key (to a random locked door nearby, ideally)
  63. Feather duster missing half it's feathers
  64. Broom with all the bristles broken off way too short. 
  65. Abacus with only 2d6 remaining beads, some broken runners
  66. Burnt-out lightbulbs (1d6)
  67. Painting in a frame. It's not very good (but that doesn't matter), and it's ripped and stained.
  68. Beartrap, rusted shut
  69. Bucket with a hole in  it
  70. 2d6 cracked and chipped plates and/or saucers
  71. Bent fork
  72. A perfectly good sewing needle
  73. Helmet, three-quarters melted
  74. Shard of broken mirror
  75. Small box with different fishing weights
  76. Fused-up tanglefoot bag
  77. Collection of 2d8 worn, faded, and cut up periodicals (Nat Geo, but with dragons... Unnatural Geomantic?)
  78. A cheap trophy for an unpopular sport (1-lacrosse, 2- curling, 3- quidditch) 
  79. A towel!
  80. A chair with one leg that's quite a bit too short
  81. 1/10th of a roll of tape
  82. Bent & ruined lockpicks
  83. preserved peaches so old they've turned into a kind of weird slurry- still edible tho!
  84. Terracotta flower pots, 1d6 (stacked), 50% cracked
  85. Quarter 'ration' of oil
  86. Battered storm lantern that won't stand up straight
  87.  bag of broken glass, safely wrapped
  88.  Old atlas, out of date but not SO out of date to be particularly  historical
  89. A full can of whipped cream. All the nitrous is gone. Nearby are a gang of whippet-high goblins
  90. mold-saturated blanket
  91. A jar of mismatched buttons
  92. A single sandle, slighty magic, falls apart and bits float away if handled roughly
  93. Large rotten molar covered in tooth-fairy dust
  94. A tattered portrait of a decorated admiral with the face of a frowning cat. Did he ever really exist?
  95. Leather bound journal filled with scratchings of a madman, final entry is only discernible sentence: "It's all true"
  96. torn-off cover of a wizard's grimoire
  97. 3d10 mismatched letters for typesetting
  98. 1d4 strings of cheap beads (mardi gras style)
  99. Shred of map. May show one useful landmark, not much more
  100. actual kind of treasure! Use your favourite 'minor items' table or roll here.

Look at all that useless crap! And, maybe this list will be less useful to you if you run a more 'medieval' and less anachronistic fantasy game, in which case tweak the items to be more grounded, or use the short list below
  1. turnip peels
  2. old boot
  3. string
  4. nothing

And last but not least, a 5e version of the randomize object spell- although with that spell, less of the objects should be broken, so tweak the descriptions. And/OR add the seventy or so objects from the Goblin Punch 'Slaad' entry (including in the comments), and we're almost up to a d200 table! 
Randomize Object
2nd-level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V S M (bit of clay)
Duration: Up to 1 hour
Classes: Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
This spell transforms an object no larger than a breadbox that you can see within range into a random new form. An attended object held by unwilling creature may get a Saving throw (wielder's Charisma save) to resist. The transformation should be as random as possible, and the caster has no control over the result of the transformation. At the end of the duration the object may get a second save, otherwise, permanent.


  1. This stuff is delightfully worthless! I particularly like the scroll that gives you a headache.

    1. Glad you found nothing of value here! My favourite is I think the broken psychic paper, which is in a similar vein

      I really like the spells by the slaves in Deep Carbon Observatory (ease pain, prevent scarring), perhaps I should've included something like that here. Maybe a 'actually pretty crappy magic items' post sometime in the near future?


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